Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just had sex bonerless
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
