I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just had sex bonerless
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
