I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
