Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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