just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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