he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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