But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
