Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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