stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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