Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize