I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
ttyl tear gas
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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