Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
