I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
