Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
