either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
