This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
