His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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