We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Fuck appropriateness.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
