JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
