Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
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