im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
