hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
