just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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