she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Never underestimate the power of titties
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