Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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