i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
