Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I had to cum in my sink.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
