Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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