ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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