So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Two words: nipple clamps
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