if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize