I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize