We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
