Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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