So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Randomize
