Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
