when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
