Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
