Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
