Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize