Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
