he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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