bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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