Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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