The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
