Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
