i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
