I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
