pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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