Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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