You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
