i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
