either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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