I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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