i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It's not a walk of shame if you run
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
