oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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