I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
