well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
